Originally published in Santa Cruz Waves Magazine.
ALL PHOTOS reprinted by permission of SCSCPS, courtesy of the Harry Mayo Collection.
Women are an integral part of surfing in Santa Cruz today, representing a substantial portion of the local lineup and membership in various surf clubs. In fact, the Santa Cruz Longboard Union currently has a female president, Jane McKenzie, who served her first term more than 20 years ago.
a·buse
1. to treat a person with cruelty, especially regularly or repeatedly.
2. language that condemns or vilifies usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily
3. the systematic pattern of behaviors in a relationship that are used to gain and/or maintain power and control over another.
On March 31, 2015, I left my home in Santa Cruz and embarked on a surf trip through Central America and Mexico. I planned to fly to Costa Rica and travel up the Pacific Coast through Nicaragua, Honduras, El Salvador, Guatamala, and Mexico, all the way back to Santa Cruz. My main goal was to surf. In addition, I planned to learn Spanish, learn about myself, and write about my experiences. I also had a hidden goal: to leave a relationship with a man I knew wasn’t right for me.
Don’t focus on what you have, focus on who you are. -Sean Guinan
In preparation for the trip, I am sorting through all of my possessions, deciding what to bring, what to store, and what to let go of. It’s easy to sell or give away things that I haven’t used in awhile. But one exception is a plastic box full of photos that I keep on a high shelf, hidden above surfboards, bikes, and backpacking equipment, covered with a thick layer of dust.
“Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.”
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
My finger etches anxious lines on the trackpad of my laptop, my mouse dancing in circles around the SUBMIT button. I want to go on this trip, I have been thinking, talking, planning, dreaming about this for years. I have always deferred to a job, a boyfriend, a house, the possibility of a swell window at my favorite surf spot, the potential for snow. It’s easy to find one million reasons why not to go. But lately I’ve been thinking about one good reason why I should go. It’s hard to define exactly what it is; but it’s something tangible that lives between my heart and my stomach.